5 Ass. 3 Reb. Ep 03

wp-1486919038941.jpg Hey guys! Happy Wednesday. It’s too soon don’t you think? I almost didn’t have anything to write but thankfully or rather not, next episode is coming out on Sunday. I’ve got some time to think at least.  If you didn’t catch the last episode, here you go. Let’s get to reading then?!

Phyllis, oh, Phyllis. Her body was just 100%. Contour line around the borders of ayaase firmly drawn and well complemented by whatever attire she decides to don-jeans, body con, you name it. I specially enjoyed seeing here in her white Man United shorts with her… I’ll spare you the details. Gbegblevi. Don’t think too far brethren. God bless Alex Ferguson or whoever came up with the Jersey. She was a simpleton in deed despite her wealth-her parent’s actually. I enjoyed her company, although it always gave me a rumbling tummy. Her lips were soft and her buttocks were well… They were her buttocks. Ladies and Gentlemen, I think I have to go and pray. But the bottom line is that God really created this girl.

Aside her moodiness, which was rather annoying, sometimes, just sometimes, her mind was rich with worlds of thought. I wasn’t the only one competing for her love and attention of course. But I was in the comfortable lead. The other guys were idiots! Imagine seeing such perfectly crafted body and you’re talking about inner beauty? Is it inner beauty that we’ll eat? Or you walk around with an X-ray so that’s the first thing you see. Those idiots! Sure she was beautiful inside and out but they made it look like that was the only attractive thing about her. I mean a girl wants to know her body bangs- pardon me for the pun, and her face is noticeable.

II’d seen her around in Sunday School but I never really paid attention. I’d just taken interest only a year… Twelve (12) months ago and well since I’m the awesome-st, smartest… You get it don’t you? I just look sharp!

Point is, there was so much more to a perfectly crafted body than met the eye.


It was a lovely Saturday evening… You know what? I’m just going to skip the cliche intros. Me and Phyllis… Wait! Phyllis and I is the correct thing according to the queen. So… Phyllis and I are going for one of our evening strolls, talking about random stuff and going no where in particular. That was the beauty of it-Our walks. Then the moment of reckoning came. Maybe a bit sooner that I’d expected.

Hey Phyllis! There’s something I’ve wanted to ask you. I’d gone over my lines like a thousand times. Nothing could go wrong! “Errrr…” Maybe I spoke too soon. I couldn’t remember anything. It felt like I was now learning how to speak. I may have blacked out because I only remember snippets of the moment. There was a part where I was talking about Six months, probably some historical gibberish. I’m not so sure but a part of me feels like I sounded very convincing that night. After 5 long… like very long… no I don’t think you get it. Like after 5 really really long minutes of pouring out the core of my soul, I got yanked back down to earth by the most amazing answer.

“I don’t know”. Excuse me? Like the kpaa you mean you don’t know? Like there’s Dove, there’s Nivea, there’s men only… Where the kpaa is this sure nonsense coming from?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Aunts and Uncles, Mummies and Daddies, If you think the penalty Asamoah Gyan missed was a disappointment, you should have been in my shoes. Fada Lawd! Take my soul! That was all I could think of. But hard guy, agya wob3 y3 nu de3n? (What can you do?)

“OK. Cool.” So not cool my guy. “I’ll let you think about it then?” I was slowly dying. Lord if that’s Your cue to take my soul, I’d be glad if you were quick about it and relieved me of the pain. Oh wait. That was just my bladder getting full. Brethren, for the first time in my very very very very very very (25 more “very’s” to go) long human life, I finally chop bounce. A whole me. Who would have thought I would dent my record after all these years? At least I had assisted Francis so no stress.

Fidelis too was around so, On the forward march, I guess.


Due to the emotional overload on circuit, Author cannot write about rejection from Fidelis but just know that she chose another boy over me. Two dents in a row on my otherwise perfect record.


Brethren, I cannot take it any longer. Let me just die now. But wait! Looks like there was another way out. Yes!


Thanks for making it this far. Let’s meet in the comment section and be sure to like the Facebook page and tell a friend about the blog. Leggo!

P.S. Watch out for the first of the monthly reviews. It’s about the Kenikodjo blog. Check out the blog here.


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