5 Ass. 3 Reb. Ep 08

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Hi guys. Happy Independence Week celebration, If that’s even a thing. Last time was great and I really loved that lots of you gave me feedback. And you complained that it was too short. Justifying myself, I’d say that it was the best I could do seeing that it was my turn to lose my lights for the day: but who’s counting? Right? I’ll only try and do better today. Catch up  here If you’re new. This episode is dedicated to all the silent readers and to the new ones joining the fam. Let’s get to reading then, shall we? 

The few months that followed the showdown in class were hard. Really hard. But I kinda enjoyed the monotony of it all- Wake up, workout-or something like that, get prepared for class, get back, study and if there was anything extra, I went ahead and did it. I enjoyed being single and the thrill of it just seemed to linger on when I broke just a littleness away from my mundane life. Of course I kept tabs on Francis and Efua, all the while saying a silent thank you to whoever cared to listen, on their behalf. Fidelis and Phyllis were now reduced to contacts who got their ‘dps’ checked maybe a bit too regularly. I spoke to Likem as often as I could and it amused me the more when I found out he saved may as ‘Leslie Gaymann.’ From the movie Soul Train. It was our favourite all time movie and he knew how the name lit up my Face whenever I heard it. Little bumps here and there but generally, he and Emily were doing just fine.

There’s a saying that, he who calls the piper calls the tune and I’m still trying to figure out its relevance in the story but it just felt like a good way to transition.

Exam was the one thing that could truly reveal the makeup of a friendship. It was the only test that could jeopardise years of friendship and at the same time, help form new bonds. As had become my custom, I was sitting alone at my usual spot, under a very old tree, learning; or at least trying to. I sat there everyday and somehow it had become my personal space. No one dared remain in the spot when they saw me approaching. The showdown had earned me that much of a reputation. For whatever reason, this funny looking girl walked up to me, some air of confidence around her, and she sits by me. Usually I would assume She was new or she was trying to test me. Fortunately I had seen her around so I just assumed the latter.

I gave a heck of a stern look and silently counted to twenty five. By the twenty mark was smiling like She had been cursed to do so. She wore one of the goofiest faces not even my imaginative could have pictured.

“Sandra” she said, stretching her hand out to me, revealing the most beautiful set of nails i had ever seen. Looking at her again, she wasn’t as bad as I thought. Au contraire, she was “très belle.” Ladies and gentlemen, I sh*t you not when I say that I felt something wet my pant a little when I realised just beautiful She really was. It was that type of realisation. But I couldn’t let my guard down because of one Tyra Banks lookalike.

“Whoever sent you did their homework well.” I simply replied amidst a myriad of thoughts flowing through my mind at the time.

She simply ignored my reply and went on and on about how she thought I was cute and would love to be friend and that kinda gibberish you usually hear a guy tell a girl in those really bad; like really bad Nigerian movies (no offence).

Considering the fact that the odds were against me,  I simply took my bag and began to leave. I mean think about it. We had exams and I wasn’t really studying, just marking the fashion sense of students. Then walks up this girl who starts ranting about a friendship with me? It was a bad start to begin with-like why would I even budge to an offer knowing that I had been friend zoned? Even if she had the intention guys had whenever they made such an offer, I wasn’t really interested. My fine life didn’t need any disruption from a fine, confident damsel who oddly fit the bill of my dream girl- hips, ass and lots of it. I just wasn’t interested.

“I just want you to be my friend so you can help me get Fiifi.”

The sharp pain I felt across my chest when she said those worded words were just unbearable. She broke my heart, and we weren’t even friends. Imagine that!

It was odd really, the urge to take up the offer, that is. I mean she can clean from the onset so I reckoned no harm could done but it was hard to make a decision.

Thanks for making it thus far. Let’s meet in the comment section. And be sure to tell a friend about the blog. Join the fam on Facebook and tell your friends to do same too. Leggo!

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