Rebound Guy

Happy Wednesday Guys! Well this post is coming on the back of the just finished series. To all the silent readers, I see you. Ghislaine Matsakawo, thank you for the support. To all the new readers, welcome. Let’s get to reading then, shall we?

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Photo Credit: Google

Isn’t it rather ironic that the people we’d love with all our hearts are the ones who end up not caring at all? I mean, being a rebound guy has made it bearable for me.

REBOUND GUY1/ɹɪ’baƱnd gaɪ/

The handsome person who never gets laid or into a relationship. Instead he’s at the disposal of every potential, to listen to their problems and encourage them.

Eg. Aren’t you a rebound guy?

… He’s the best rebound guy….

REBOUND GUY2/ɹɪ’baƱnd gaɪ/

The standard of measurement by which girls measure their suitors. Again his main purpose is to listen and encourage whenever girls get heartbroken.

Eg. Jason meets the standard of my rebound guy so…

REBOUND GUY3/ɹɪ’baƱnd gaɪ/

The one who goes around collecting the scrap after a break up. It’s not as degrading as it sounds but hey, what can you say?

Eg. I wish I had a rebound guy….

His shoulders are so strong! He must be a rebound guy…

So like I was saying, I’m the rebound guy. Not a, or some, or one of, …, I am THE rebound guy. And as a matter of fact, I’m proud of it. I mean I get to know things that ideally should be revealed only to the significant other. In modern language, I think they are those in the friend zone. My career has seen a lot of successes but unlike every notable career, mine has no blemishes. No not one. Ok so maybe I got unlucky and dated a couple of times but what’s my dent compared to other people’s wrecks?

Right now it’s gotten fun. Getting to know things that are, in fact, making me a better person for the one. I see people on Instagram with their relationship goals and others on Twitter tweeting their ignorance. Don’t even get me started on Facebook. The point here is, there’s a lot here we don’t know which makes my career as a rebound guy quite perfect for me. You see, not everyone with 8 inches high heels and MK make-up on has an enviable life. In fact, your life is much better. Trust me on this one. You’ve probably heard this so many times but have you really thought about it? The things we take for granted.

Imagine church service was such that everyone left their troubles outside. I doubt people would be allowed to go take a piss. Brodas han Siztas, your pra’lem is someone’s perfect life. Don’t hargu habbarit! So whatever you think you’re going through, remember I’m still THE rebound guy and there’s someone in Kumasi finding the difference between ‘erection’ and ‘election’ so he can make noise with it in 2020. Mind you, you’re to be content with what you have. But whoever mentioned that you should be content with where you are? Translating the nasal sounds of the song One Life by Worlasi ft. Sena Dagadu, you have something like this:

“You only got one life to live.

If you happen to have a good one be grateful.

You only have one life to live.

And if you don’t appreciate it, let someone else have it. I bet they will gladly take it.

You’ve got so much yet you don’t see it.”

The bottom line is, with each passing morning that you drag yourself out of bed, there’s someone in a worse situation than yourself. I’m not arguing for the negative perks of life but here’s something to think about. Why worry when you can do something about your situation? And why worry when you can’t do anything about it? So pick up your cape or suit or whatever it is that you have to. And never for a day think that your life is a hellhole. I may not be living in your life but trust me you don’t know the quarter of what hell is. So what’s it going to be brethren?

Thanks for making it thus far. Tell a friend to tell a friend to join the fam. Let’s meet in the comment section then, shall we?

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