Happy Sunday guys! And to all the mothers and prospects, Happy Mother’s Day. This post is special and it’s just celebrating all y’all amazing mothers out there. On this special occasion, I decided to tell this story in pidgin. I hope you’re able to follow. The story may or may not be true. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it. Let’s get to reading then shall we?
One day mommy really make I bore. Like, she just make I bore sake of as I dey tap ridee, I no really dey kai what iy hoppen but Iy be like she slack. Wey then I bore. You for get for your mind iy back sey, then chale, I be kiddie, wey then chale, wonna kiddie time nu, then you no get right sef sey you go bore plus growie. I mean how? But someway, somehow, I bore, wey mommy barb gimme sey then chale I for bore.
The part wey I come wek give mommy, give my body then I sanso weak give everybro (you sef you dey read this story), be sey, mommy come come apologise sey then she make sorry and things. Ahaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn….. I kai what iy hoppen.
Then some day bi laidat. I chop like 8 or 9 or something. Wey something hoppen for house wey mommy sey ibi me. Be like iy something loss, wey then iy lef me then am p3 for house so she figure iy be me. Herh! The thing go me. I no go lie. Herh I talk teeeeeeyyyyyyyyy…. This woman say naaaaaa, ibi me naaa I take the thing na make I take iy thing come. Oh, I cry all, wey I try talk this woman all I fit talk; still ahhh, this woman say me I take. The thing really go me chale. No be joke. Hard guy but that day dieerrr, I cry chale. Nothing dey bash pass, as mommy no dey believe you wey you know for your heart of hearts sey you dey talk true.
So we dey saaaaa, wey I take crying so bed tinnop like the afternoontee. As I tinnop wey I see sey chale, something ain’t right. You know? I just dey wey mommy come talk say she make sorry na she she misplace the thing wey she see iy thing. Yieeeee?! As she talk sey she make sorry wey I piss for my body small sake of my heart cot. My people go bab sey then ibi very rare sey your mommy or growie or something go apologise give kiddie. But hard guy, I just say oh naaaaa… I no go hear. Eiiiiiii……
I say I no go hear la. Wey I start dey do big boy things, I dey biz am sey why she no believe me as I talk sey iy no be me. Nooooooor, this woman say make I calm down and things na she make sorry. Ah?! As she aplogise again wey iy start dey enter my head. Iy start dey sweet me. Can you believe a pimp’s luck? Apeeeeeee…. I just speed up one time. I say I no go hear… wey I kommot sey I dey go rock ball. Then my eye get but hard guy so I for kpemi then lef the house sharp.
Finally! I have broken the lioness.
I go come too wey I sheda do like sey I no see am. I bok the kitchen then this woman get some awkward smile bi wey she talk say she make sorry. Iy wey I go talk sey make she lef me. Yiiiieeee?! I figure this woman go beat me or something wey chale make I go see something ah, she just apologise again wey she try kr)kr) me small Then I just weak give am. Iy lef small like I go flow am sey she dey scare me but hard guy, I no talk anything wey I lef the kitchen go spy TV. Then I go the kitchen again sake of I dey hung wey chale then I dey do hard guy things. So I just chock it.
Noooooor, wey make I go see ah, Mommy serve some wild Banku plus Tilapia then pepper. This woman really wound me. Abi then she know sey even if I sati hundred years sef, space go dey give that cho.
My kiddie bro plus iy big head too say he no go make I chop iy own ssome. Iy lef small like I go make iy cho fall down then we all iy go b))))) we.
I see sey, I no fit the hunger wey I take my fooling goo the kitchen wey I flow Mommy sey, I dey hung. As usual, this woman do long things saaaaaa sey then she figure I bore plus am then things. I no really answer; then I just dey spy ground dey wedge my ch.
Bottom line be sey, index touches tongue and points upwards no matter how muchee you chop, no matter what iy go hoppen biaaaaa, wonna mommies bi very essential part of wonna lives. If not for anything kraaaa nu, for the fact seey them carry we 9 months wey them bear that amount of pain as the doctors dey scream “Push!”.
Them be the real MVP’s nu!
Thanks for making it thus far. Let’s meet in the comment section then, shall we?