Happy Wednesday guys. No long talk this time. I tried to make it longer this time for those of you who complained the first was short. Catch up here if you’ve not read the other episode. Let’s get to reading then, shall we?
Work was good. I couldn’t help but notice how different Akosua from Accounting was looking today; a good kind of different…
I don’t like tension, not in the least bit. My stomach’s always tied up in a knot and I can actually hear the cell movements in my brain. I can feel every single beat of my heart and the worst part of it all is the migraine- I can’t think straight, my palms get sweaty and my hands get wobbly and then the pounding is intense. It’s like there are these little creatures in my head who are practicing their military routine to Japanese standard. It’s like I begin to develop symptoms of a rare illness. It’s so not cool.
I’m not looking forward to sleeping at home tonight but I don’t have much of a choice. Maybe I’ll sleep in the guest room. Guest room! In my own house! Who would have thought?!
It’s almost time. He’ll be back from work soon. It’s quite late and no matter what happens, he never stays out beyond 11pm. Although I won’t be surprised if he walks in much later. I really did it this time.
He’ll probably want to walk in when he thinks I’m well asleep or maybe even prefer to sleep in another room.
‘I don’t like this one bit’. Now I’m tearing up. Where from all these tears? I never even knew I had this much tears in me because it’s flowing freely before I can catch myself.
He doesn’t like them- tears I mean. Especially when it’s from someone he loves. He gets confused in a really cute way but he doesn’t like the feeling of helplessness it brings him. And to top it all, there’s tension. So much tension I can feel it in my throat. It almost has a taste. I know what that does to him too…
I wish I could say, “Home Sweet Home.” More like ‘Home Tensed Home.’ I say a barely audible ‘Good evening’ even I walk into the bedroom to change. She’s sitting on the bed, clearly lost in thought. And… Are those tears? What is happening? Usually I’d get confused and try to console her or do whatever my confusion allows me to. But not tonight. Seeing her like this-in years, feels oddly fulfilling.
Her apology catches me off guard. What does she mean by she doesn’t want to lose me? But wait… This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. This is not in the script. The tension is supposed to drag on for a few more weeks, maybe even months. Then I flirt with other women, maybe Akosua from Accounting or that lady in church with the pretty smile whose name I always forget. This is not how it goes. She’s changing the script.
Are you seeing this? What is happening?
I’m sorry babe. I don’t want to lose you.
Where’s all this coming from? My body’s shaking now and the sobbing is more than before. More tears. What’s happening?
My apology catches him on a flatfoot. He stops unbuttoning midway and stays that way for a few minutes or so, clearly lost in thought. And he calls me the drama queen.
There are so many things I want to say but I wait for his reaction. A movement. Something I can read from at least… Nothing!
I hate this.
Cmon babe! Do something. Don’t just stand there. React. You know I hate it when I can’t tell what you’re thinking. Please… Babe.
I kiss her. I don’t know what’s in the script anymore. I don’t know what’s happening.
I love you babe….
Thanks for making it thus far. Let’s meet in the comment section then, shall we?